Wednesday, March 11, 2009

pain

is eating me. very much invisible [as of mass people and of daylight], but it is. it takes pleasure on the depression thats me.
tangina much, ang emo ko. dati, airom the 'bestfriend's company's enough to forget. BEFORE wasnt deep, but wasnt easy either. now im needing half of my close-enough friends' effort just to get me through this-and still wasnt enough (!). i am pretty as i walk out home to school. sabi yun ng face ko. pero sabi ng heart ko: :""C *TEARS TEARS*

AND BEAT THIS: lagi ko syang nakikita, nung kami hindi naman. tangina. i had to swallow thyself just to save my sanity not to kneel at him and beg for him to come back. seeing him everyday IS hard. like our then-everyday routine of seeing each other and staying for minutes then saying good-byes. naiiyak na ko to now. i just had my private tear-shedding in case you want to know. just now ha. my birthday was fucked up. my friends WERE planning a surprise whatsoever pero tangina ng sky, hindi ka na lang nakisama. umambon ka pa. birthday mo rin ba!? tapos pinagsalubong mo pa kami. kung hindi ka nakiepal na umulan edi sana nakauwi ako ng maaga at hindi ko sya nakita. tas everyone was at home na nung dumating ang food......$%#@![edited: not to rant in this blog. i had soooooooooooooo much rants already and i think it is enough]

every night or in every uwian, i am to remember, to text, to wait, and so to get kilig or to get upset when i can or cannot see you after class.

and how can i forget the two-year life that i had; running where-else but to you. sabi ko nga sa post ko dati, i had been gyrating on him alone and feeling like there's nothing else i need. did i press on it too much? was i not better? was i not enough?

could someone bring me back my september boyfriend? i'm missing him :(




anyone save me. put my feet back on the ground.

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