hindi ko na yata kaya. naiinis na ako. andami dami kong kailangang gawin. hindi naman ako super hero. i can multi-task, right, but it doesn’t mean i can do everything and do it just wherever, whenever. if you think i can, then just kill me instead. i need to be a full-time student and part-time organizer cum staff for my band and production. it really is not easy. hindi ako petiks, excuse me. i attend to then just same. kung hindi man ako functional like they want me to be, siguro kasi i need to attend to something better than them: studies, ofcourse. or maybe kasi hindi nagsisireply lahat ng kailangan kong contact. i swear. lalo na si jomel. i need him for a better studio and other production for the band, and contacts for the production. hindi talaga siya nagrereply. kainis. and now, andaming demands pa ng production leader/vocalist ko. boss naman. sorry na. wala na nga kong time mag lovelife. o sige na, lahat kayo boyfriend ko na. mas priority ko na nga kayo kaysa sa lovelife ko. And money, tae. SUUUPER sa pinaka super. super hirap ng walang weekly allowance. hello ma? please mag abroad ka na ulit. i need it until next year. hello SLR. hanggang sa store window lang yata kita matatanaw. hello sa org. hindi na ko makakapagpasa ng article. hello and goodbye. good bye career. goodbye high paying job. hello callcenter. family pa, magkakaaway ang mga kapatid ko including my mom. so, eto full time ulit. can’t tell mom this and that. she’s vulnerable, she’s on her menopausal time. breathe. breathe. need to be their human-telephone, they won’t talk, kahit na inches lang ang lapit nila. and as for spiritual obligations, hindi ako makacomplete ng week ng Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday mass sa dami ng ginagawa. so much for my vigil. goodbye saintly dream. hello hell. hindi ko na din mapasaya sina girly, jenjen and more by feeding them every after sunday mass. last time ang saya pa nila sa lechon kawali na binili ko, tas ulam ko gulay lang. at P113 ang nagastos ko, ambigat. but seeing them happy is priceless. it’s worth it. pero ngayon wla na. i can’t even buy them a cheap bottled soda. ayoko ng ganito. naiinis talaga ko. SUPER STRESS. wala naman akong super powers para gawin lahat to, hindi ko naman kayang hindi matulog, magawa sila ng sabay-sabay at makapagfunction ng perfect. sorry if i can’t meet your demands. tao lang naman ako. sorry. sorry.
perfectionist ako right, but still i stay with my mediocre life.
tear.
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