Monday, November 10, 2008

lq blog number 1

dunno what date it last typed this shits.


cheese cheese

LQ day number _
Sober-ish blog. Please don’t deny me, or at least mind me.
Wala na dapat babasa ng blog ko. Punyetang emoness to.

I can’t talk. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t bother you right now.
Just that. I can’t demand things because of reasons that I shouldn’t. There are no reasons after all, or if there is, it would not change anything. It would remain a shame.
I have regretted some things after we have been the ‘us’ that we cannot call.
Yes I pretty much love the sweetness we’re having, but we lost more to say.
The ‘us’ name made our distances, anyway/
It mounted at my spine like a cold, metal wall
I can barely look you in the eye.
I can’t lose you now, or ever. I don’t know. Not just yet.
But the mere deed of pulling you back, stepping higher, closer to you is pain.
The stairs made of my own ego.
I had to step on it to be with you.
I had to look down to myself and see how much I trash myself
I am far from my own self
I began to forget my name.
Just to be with you.
But you weren’t just the same.

I could never be the one who’d put you on your knees.
I could only be the one who’d just be beside you, just whenever you want to.

I could never be the one who you’d offer the tears at.
I could only make you cry once.

I could never be who you’d offer your self.
I could never be the one for you.

I guess this is what is meant to happen.
You would never be mine.

I am tied. Addicted.

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