summer midnight daydreaming ♥

cake.

2009-08-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

Plot: me and ditse having dinner at red ribbon glorietta.

Ditse: sarap ng cake mo (oreo cake etc etc)
Me: yung sayo parang sumasabong sa lasa. (choc mousse) yung akin moist cake mejo mild
D: favorite ni beb to eh.
Me: *thinks* si billy favorite black forest
D: eh ang pait nun eh
Me: parang ako.
Me and D: BITTER!

tangina. ahaha :))

just so you know. i miss you.
and oh. no not you. him :D

love. oh love.

2009-08-01T16:28:00.000+08:00

Platonic Love

*friendship
*not sexual
*caring
*doing thing together
*not physical
*supportive
*enjoy each other's company
*feel relaxed with the person
*happiness
*helping the person
*normal behavior
*sharing
*trust
*contentment
*feel free to talk about anything
*being reliable
*respect

(re posted from pudi's blog.)

platonic love is best described by you and your male bestfriend's bond, which is often called slang of "walang malisya".

but how do you differ it from PSEUDORELATIONSHIP?
napaisip ako first time i recieved a (sour) quote-notice text spreading in and out of the metro

Pseudo means SPURIOUS, SHAM simply not genuine:
false + relationship is equal to so what we called....
pseudo-relationship. Pseudo boyfriends, girlfriends, flings, fake, pirated. Other called it M.U. or mutual understanding. Almost like a relationship but not quite. It is phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. It is also possible that you both had a verbal agreement or maybe not. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings to either one of you. Maybe you just let your gesture do the talking. There is no formal courtship or what so ever, both of you just decided to be together for the same reasons. You both acted like as if it was a real thing. But sometimes the pseudo-relationship may turn into a reality.-noel of http://my.opera.com/mynoel/albums/

more exciting than a fling
more demanding than casual dating
but always always less fullfilling.

PSEUDO means false.
therefore, its a false relationship

favored by those who always settles for the less future-concentrated people.

flavored by those who have suicidal tendencies. (HAHA)

sometimes, its just mere expectations.
the other part may be:
a.) playing
b.) a pussy (SCARED. tangina. torpe)
c.) too nice.
d.) gay.

its bitter when it ends, for those who expected, or those who found themselves settling.

very human. man are made to put on affection, but its holy when others chose to put their head on first before stepping and doing things to make it right.

also some are stupid enough to actually go for it.It seems a pretty desperate move to have to accept it

artsyfartsy.

2009-06-26T15:19:00.002+08:00

cant just art be stuck with me like a virus? my nose's so runny. eew.

2009-06-26T15:02:00.002+08:00

i really want to blog right now.

i hope my head gets clear. im having things to say; my head's a mess.

world's so unfair. just when ur making plans and looking for a far better present, the whole world stops and suck you stuck dead with past.

im having this. and it sucks. awfully. ver ver.

im a good girl.

and my drug-er friend's really lucky rich (he's like winning lottery every day)
i hope i couldve dare myself to do drugs or something, then i couldve been lucky, OR WATEVER soooo explaining again.

blog's not theraphy-ing me to this.

inuk.boi.

2009-06-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

i want to keep you. leche ka.

wag kang anti social.

nah. suit urself.

mahhunt din kita. stalker ako. professional by ass.

:P

tub.

2009-06-06T16:27:00.003+08:00

aj: sige maliligo na ko para pag naglaro ako mabango me.
aiwa: sabay us*smiley*
aj: magbboxers ako para hindi mahalay.
aiwa: (?!) what the heck. pause. HAHA. halay pa. sabay lng naman d q snabing magkasama.
aj: malay ko bang di ka naliligo sa kalye.
aiwa: more (????) then gets it. nway ssbayan na kita sa ivory tub ko with jasmine bath bubbles and scented sandal wood candles <3>
aj: i could (verb word here sorry nkalmtan ko. like, uhhh, acquire?) a tub and baths.
aiwa: u cant. u dont even have a tub and afford it even the essentials. fail

okay. bnlog ko to kasi i think its fun. FUN DISSING/PISSING aj over sms exchanges. BOORING. i know. i had no effing energy to write my whole week to my planner (or slight diary-journal-ish so it wont sound cheesy. planner.) because it came out horrible.

ive wasted my money buying cigarette packs because i was always leaving one best named 'the wish stick" which never granted anything i hoped for all summer.
" A better summer. a good one" i planted my wish to burn.

im still indenial of the whole horrible stuffs. im making my self happily insane with sleeping on different homes everyday, dreaming of exes (stupid involuntary brain move) and 3 reading books at the same time.

though i had stopped taking sleeping drugs, the hallucinations stayed.
everything now went like a nightmare.

things.

2009-05-17T02:05:00.002+08:00

YAY IM BORED! [got this from macci. FUN EH!]

Ten things you wish you could SAY (don't tell us who it is)

1. You forgot about the dreams we made since we learned how to have one. but what the heck, all i can do now is to accept things. goodluck with that. i still have your back no matter what.i do love you. i love you more than anyone else i guess :)
2. I love you. I wish i could spell it to you more often. i do not know why i sometimes feel like i dont. (-_-)
3. One hell of a bullshit you are. just go and run to your deary now since you cant keep the words you have had me. I wont help you find the shoes you want now. and i wont listen to your rants. i had enough.
4. IM SORRY. i dont know why solitude felt so good that mobiles makes me sick.
5. I miss you more than ever. and i want you back. the heck, i cant i know you dont want me na e. and i need my pride and my sane self i guess but i want to go home to you. oh deary i sound so cheesy i wish i can say this to you.
6. Sometimes i dont get you. Oh well, everyone's have their pretty weird self. but i want to know you more :) our talks arent enough
7. YOURE MY STAR! you make me perfectest afternoon AND save me from insanity and thinking imaturely deep everynight. iloveyou :) adopt me please
8. EEE. im so curious i want to know you really. can i keep you? :)
9. Im sorry if im confused or whatever right now. please dont hate me. i just need to clear myself and have coffee with you. er. please sing for me.
10. YOU! BABASAGIN KO BALLS MO! [you know who you are. iloveyou :)]

Nine things about YOURSELF:

1. I eat alot and throw up alot
2. I have an abnormal body clock
3. Im numb. i think
4. Im inlove with morrocan mint tea lattes
5. Im a chain smoker
6. I love bananas and hates it the same. (i cant chichi eh)
7. I now love atozzio im loving the slow rnbs :)
8. Im trying to be Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele. TRYYYYIIIINg SOOOO HARD.
9. I cant remember

Eight ways to WIN your heart:

1. Have me a good convo. {i dont need bolas though} but dont be good enough to make you my KUYA.
2. Dont flirt back when i do until i say i love you.
3. Dont stalk me.
4. Bring me somewhere. i want dates that includes roadtripping ala GTA :P
5. Spoil me though im telling u not to [its a bluff]
6. Let me spoil you the same. and appreciate it. AND PAKIPOT-ish appreciation pla.
7. NEVER EVER stop me from doing things.
8. Be hard to get. makes me fall everyday eh.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot through the day:

1. honestly? OMG i need to level this thingy first before bebe wakes up (HAHA i know you dont get it)
2. will i eat?
3. i will do this that...
4. but my lethargic body's not moving oh no. zzzz
5. i smoke too much. and im smoking again.
6. omg i miss you. why?
7. where's my fone again?

Six little STUPID things you want to happen to you before you die:

1. say goodbyes
2. go to church and have the longest prayer. not stupid pero i want eh!
3. EAT LIKE CRAZY. the diet had stopped me from eating good food.
4. YOU.I will kiss you very passionately that will make you kneel at me. HAHA!
5. BE WITH EVERYONE. ah no this is not stupid. MAKE EVERYONE PLEASE ME. haha
6. burn beato. >:D

Five turn offs:

1. talks too loud, too much
2. BORING
3. BROKE
4. smokes too much
5. faker.[or i think]

Four turn ons:

1. i know how to have fun. aha aha.
2. im good with ukays! [new talent]
3. I uplift pretty well. ^__^
4. im sweet! [i think]

Three smiles that describe your life:

1. :D
2.^___^
3. ';...;' or >:D

Two things you wish you never did:

1. Fell in love too much
2. learn how to smoke

One confession

I do loser-ish things now because IM BORED!!! atleast im good *wink wink*

2009-05-08T09:43:00.003+08:00

its 6 and a half in the morning and i havent had any sleep yet.fuck you wifi. bumukas ka.

im currently filling my heavy head with jivvy no feel good songs since lulling songs tend to make me emo than any better.

it kinda makes me up when i think i need to dine on a hefty dosage of sleeping pills and die with it.

im guessing that im carrying my heaviest cross since the latter ones. prolly im enjoying solitude and online games and had them my smiles :)

but i sucks that it adds up to my problems since its happiness package includes zits with it. [i have a big one right now at the most awkward place of my face]
yes. a pimple is still a problem. im still a girl. ikr.

i think i really need to see some psychiatrist or attend counseling before i get worse.

me prefer suicide than having to murder someone else than me though.

i now have this super talent of staring at the computer for 24 hours. congratulations.

101st post: summer epilogue

2009-05-08T08:55:00.002+08:00

this post will be the over run of the thoughts i had since last week and of this moment

to be honest, nothing came that had me pretty well.

not even the coffee chats with macci, tea lattes with bebe, or roadtrips and beer sessions with my friends
maybe it kept me excited, or had me to smile for a while

but there was no fulfilment, rather hapiness to it

that stayed with me longer than sadness did.

my numbness had me gone feeling bliss as well.

now i cannot feel pain nor joy.

im a complete disaster.

of the ME that's seeing pretty small things and finding solid joy with it and literally crying over spilled milk.

i became the nightmare of my own dreams.

because of the mere wanting to become mature since everything had been childish to me.

i am now crying for reasons that i do not know.

this is me today.

i now cannot find reasons why i do because i always tend to forget painful things or feel if it did hurt at all.

ganon na ngaun. i cry, i ask why and the question remained still.

and it pains me more that seeing myself the same; and as much as i want to go back, i cannot. no matter how much i kill myself for it.

i hate explanations. period. but i am explaining right now because i think i'll go crazy if i dont.

TANGINA.

yun lang. gsto ko lang tlga magmura.

life's bitching me bigtime.

last february, i was making my death bilins because january was so perfect and i thought i was about to die for superb bliss i was having. before i knew it, i lose everything. not even my hands could try to catch them back to me
thats how unfair life had been kicking me.

not even my wildest nightmares. ATE. TANGINA TLGA.

i feel so sick of this everyday that i cannot look to people and taunt them 'sucks to be you' reason that MY LIFE SUCKS more than anyone knows.

im miserable. everyone that hates me can now laugh. shit you all.

i had been so dreamy all along, i forgot that not all dreams come possible.

not even expectations that you had since youve learned how to have them.

major thing that ran to me? [since exie days]
you can never change people the way you want them to.

fuck to that, i cannot even change what's happening to my life. because it wasnt me that could maneuver it.
and i cannot turn back time.

all i can is the possible power of accepting things and cry. worth while the tears are smiles.

but when can i look at the mirror with the same girl i had few months ago wearing a real smile, when she cannot feel happiness and pain of the numb girl staring back at her?

im sorry jihan. emo na ko ulet eh.

i

2009-04-22T05:52:00.002+08:00

sleep every 5am wakes every 3 to 4pm. im beginning to have an abnormal body clock.

this cant be happening.

not without nightlife.

OH NO.

im changing!
again.

2009-04-20T20:18:00.000+08:00

i hate you blogskins. fuck you again.

sabaw

2009-04-19T22:44:00.002+08:00

luis azcona : nakahanap ka na ng van?
luis azcona : kelangan mo pa?
aiwa : ha?
luis azcona : diba naghahanap ka ng van for rent?
aiwa : ako? di ah
aiwa : kilala mo ba kung sino kausap mo? bka ibang aira lang yun tsong ^__^
luis azcona : HAHAHA! cge aaminin ko
luis azcona : di kita kilala
luis azcona : at di ko alam kung bakit ka nasa YM ko hanggang sa kinclick ko status mo
aiwa : baduy lui.
aiwa : ako kilala kita.
luis azcona : naalala ko na, ikaw ung kaibigan ni tiyano!
aiwa : oo sira.
luis azcona : hahahaha! sorry... lasing ako non
luis azcona : hahaha
aiwa : T__T okay.
luis azcona : seryoso? hindi ikaw ung naghahanap ng van?
luis azcona : sabi ko pa nga... "kilala mo makoy?":
aiwa : hindi.
aiwa : labo.
luis azcona : eh sino yon?!?!?!?!
luis azcona : hahaha
luis azcona : anyway... sorry
luis azcona : hahahaha
luis azcona : sabaw!
aiwa : abay malay ko
aiwa : SABAW MO gago..
aiwa : labo mo lui.
aiwa : suicide ka na lang.
aiwa : AHAHA!
luis azcona : grabe ka naman!
luis azcona : oo na! gets ko na
luis azcona : hindi ikaw yon!
luis azcona : hahaha!
aiwa : ahaha. joke lang
luis azcona : kelangan ko pa ba magsuicide para maconvince mo ako na hindi ka naghahanap ng van?!?!
luis azcona : hahaha
aiwa : HAHAHAHAHAH tama na nga nasasabaw na ko sayo. ge dude, bbye
aiwa : pplayplay muna ko
luis azcona : k bye. goodluck sa pgpplay mo. kung ano man yan. hahak bye. goodluck sa pgpplay mo. kung ano man yan. haha
aiwa : cabal
aiwa : para sayo tong stat ko
changes stat to: lui azconini sabaw
luis azcona : cabal?
luis azcona : wrong window?
luis azcona : ayon
luis azcona : nakita ko na
luis azcona : hahaha
aiwa : cabal. rpg thingy game
luis azcona : ahhhh...
luis azcona : sorry wala ako alam sa games
aiwa : AHAHA gay.
luis azcona : di azconini pangalan ko
luis azcona : hahaha
luis azcona : azcona lang
luis azcona : ginawa ko luisito azconini para italian!
aiwa : alam ko. bakit ba.
luis azcona : hahahaha
aiwa : gagu kilala nga kita.
aiwa : amp ka naman
aiwa : sige na. babayuuu
luis azcona : ikaw din kilala ko pero di ko alam apelyido mo okay?
luis azcona : haha
luis azcona : cge bye
luis azcona : gudluck sa cabal

lui azcona: owner of happy joey's studio and productions. band god (rather, fairy: jomel)'s buddy.
nirerespeto kita non. ngaun hindi na. HAHAHA :)) natatawa padin ako.

2009-04-19T09:08:00.001+08:00

i have a new layout! :) wow. for 4 hours. not easy. still under construction ha. dont judge this yet.

YAY! i love you bloggie! your so black and pretty!

its 9am. i should really be sleeping now.

WANTED: 10 billion. any current of your liking.

2009-04-19T04:38:00.004+08:00

2009-04-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

i hate blogskins.

htmls suddenly became idiotic.

but however moreover

2009-04-19T01:07:00.007+08:00

im actually pissed off as of the moment. but im cooling since im having a good coffee and ensaymada from goldilocks which panami bought.

i want to write something pretty and or interesting as of the same moment but my hands feel dirty weak. the 'tamad' feeling is now down to hands.

i think im growing lethargically backwards.

ooer. like benjamin button.

i hope i dont look aged, or maybe im 60+ (brad pitt loooks BETTER when he got 60+ right? he looks sooo highschool!)

...that cant be. im still a virgin. HAHAHA.

i dont have a laptop right now. it sucks.

now i have reason to read books. im always with the excuse of not reading (and re-reading) since ive learned to play rpgs and sleeping way nocturnals do.

i dont have a pc
my phone's dead (again, sorry folks)
im not taking summer class
im looking for a job
i will graduate not until 3 more years (if lucky)
and my constant buddy/roomate/cousin and i are having this gap.

now i feel miserable. yes.

im smiling.

im soo human. now i feel it again.

something i lack:

2009-04-18T06:04:00.003+08:00

sleep

and i really should be starting it.

but im too stubborn to listen to myself. gimik tonight at alchemy's. maybe il come. or maybe not. im just liking the homy feeling. plus its stress-free. (i hate waking up still wasted after night quests. plus hangover. bad day) AND. i want to feel this 'solitude' rather single-ness, boys free. WAOW. hindi ako malandi kill. =)YOU FUGLY FAT BITCH PRINCESS. you dont need a man.=)

back to business guys.

2009-04-14T04:06:00.004+08:00

HELLO CIRCLE. we meet again.

after the endless weeks of not having my mobile on hand, here i am again. at your service.

kala mo makakatakas ka na after telling us ur on the rpg thingy geeky freak? not so easy aiwa.

man this day is COMPLETELY full. was it me or just the few weeks are dry empty? haha. emo guy. i was awaken by the intercom telling me to get RJ's laptop on the hall. she left it dead the whole midnight. di man lang na scared na people might get hers diba? scary. i got up next to head to the t&b and ready myself for the spontaneous activity for the day: ENROLLMENT.
wearing my trusty unif and flippy cap (shades not included in scene. naiwan ko kasi somewhere. 4 ang shades ko to mind) i dared myself to walk on the nose-bleeding-heat-stroke-baskil-causing sunny streets of noval. ang nasa isip ko lang the whole time i was at the streets, eto:

sizzing hot potato. whoa.

or something like fries cooking deep fried. GANON. ang inet. super. last month lang i was brr-ing with airom at the streets and cutting class but was just outside because i cant keep my nose from not-falling inside our classroom. and today. ang inet. haha! yun lang. after everything (it means the 2 hour not-exhausting-if-the-weather's-pretty enrollment) i went home kagad. because i am waaay too afraid people might see me and MIGHT pull me off to somewhere again. weak ako. sasama ko kagad eh. basta may good food or BOOZE. or kahit yosi lang. haha. :) and SORRY. dahil my fone was out of charge, i am now again INVISIBLE.. not! andrew came not nearly 30 mins of my invisibility to walk me out to some place again. he treated me with coffee eh. pano ko tatanggi. (told you im weak) plus i miss andrew.

aiwa: (kaharap si andrew) sitting beside andrew and him 'pissing' her off to come and join them on swimming at mico's. andrew pano kong bgla kong sinuntok balls mo?
andrew: puputukin ko boobs mo.

OMG. naimagine ko. ang morbid. HAHA. natawa ko.

andrew: siguro si billy sinuntok mo na balls?
aiwa: wla sya nun. :

more more:

andrew: (as the not-so-past sort-of-exie pass by with the exie-exie lover)gulo sorry!
shaking. mouth shaking while puffing the yosi dude. hands shaking. cant look at me in the eyes.

aiwa: LOL.

laughtrip si andrew. the ZAP! thingy again. happens to everyone i guess. kahit sa pa macho, pa-I-AM-A-GUY, toughie cookie sort of guys. pag dumaan ang x mo at hindi ka pa over, it will happen. no matter how you try to deny it, and un-bitter move on you try, YOU WILL ZAP and shrink like a pig fat cooked deep fried. and yes. its normal. :) okay lang yan drew

pagkauwi ni andrew: rpg thingy na sana kaso...

rhai came. ayoko na magkwento. maloloka lang kayo.

night: rpg thingy na sana ulet kaso i promised panami to come with her sa st lukes. so there.

WHY?! why are you not letting me PLAY!? its not geeky really naman eh. people there are nice. *hug

~~*
ANDREW: i am SORRY. that i cannot go with you kanina. im not at ease with the karen-you-miko tandem or any likey. especially miko. especially that he knows the exie and i think he's looking at me like a loser or something for going for the exie. sorry. paranoid thingy again. SORRY NA ANDREW. babawi ako. iloveyew :)

MAIAH: bwahaha. ayan kasi. bad ka kasi kya di kita pinapansin.

RHAI: ..pfft.

KILL: nagonline ako today to write you something, nothing came out i guess. sorry. pero i did write for something to read. i do think its readable. i miss you! :)

malandi nga ata si smuchee.

2009-04-14T03:51:00.002+08:00

sorry kill. maybe it really is true. malandi nga ata ako. haha!

eh i cant help it. kahit san kita tignan kamukha mo tlga yung ex ko. LAAAST thursday (or was it thursday) i was all worked up and dreadly dirty, knailangan kong lumabas ng dorm to buy some detergent powder of any sort. habit to kill me, syempre nagyosi muna ko saglit sa labas. (*expression here* like omigosh or wtf or maybe tangina--di ko kasi malabas eh) nakita ko si before the previous exie. GRABE. ang cute nya. and and and. ang bango nya gosh nahiya ako. tlga super. sort of kwentuhan and stuff (napayosi ako ulet okay.) and it bleeds how much i have wasted for billy the bastard exie. tas si gio the before previous exie is sobrang cute. okay, probably bastard din si gio kasi 9 months na sila ng gf nya as of this week (he said so) eh duh? 9 months? nagddate pa tayo nun eh bastard. pero the HELL. ang cute mo tlga. yuck may fetish pa ata ko sa lampayatot kasi ang skinny nya grabe. haha! and may pgka perv sya. WELL ATLEAST. sabi nga ni macci. atleast at ease kang guy sya. well. may point. may point. o ayan kill. para naman may mabasa ka. HAHA :))

facebook quizzes suck

2009-04-08T18:17:00.000+08:00

but was rather true.

Aiwa completed the quiz "Boplaks ka ba sa pagibig?" with the result :

Your Result: Isa kang Boplaks!

Oo, Tanga ka lang talaga. Alam mo na nga na mali, Pinagpipilitan mo pa. Marami pa naman dyan pero dahil tanga ka nga ay sya na naging sentro ng solar system mo. Harap harapan ka ngang pinaglalaruan, nagtitiis tiisan ka pa. Magising ka nga katotohanan. Side dish ba talaga tingin nya sa iyo? Hindi ka nya pet para ganun-ganunin ka na lang ng mahal mo-- kung "mahal" pa ba ang nangyayari sa inyo. Goodluck na lang sa crying moments mo...LOL

hahaha. fuck yew.

2009-04-07T19:27:00.001+08:00

bala ka kill, magsusulat na ko. haha!

let the world be gay.

2009-04-07T19:05:00.002+08:00

rhai on alchemy gimik last friday:

ay kabog bakla! may bilat sa malapit sa pinto nagapapasupsop ng bubang! di keri mars open na open! pero yung guy *sings* I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins nalaplap na ni tony bakla bago pa si bilat.

tawa ko ng tawa. klangan ko tlga to ipost. iloveyourhai! u make my life gay! :)

gay is not a bad word. isnt bad too though. msyado lang ako naapektuhan siguro sa ka-gay-han ng ex ko. hahahaha :)

the best place for living.

2009-04-07T02:40:00.006+08:00

me. bebe. chat. panami

last 2 midnights: someone from the upper floor cant sleep daw kya she sat with me and rj while we were too busy playing our addiction than hearing her story. pero i did listen no. kahit konti naman. mejo di msyado lang kasi i was having my quest. haha. she was ranting about her superficial roomate. she doesnt like her daw kasi her roomate's bratty and bitchy yada yadda.
she even came asking us if we still have some space on our room. GRABE HA. di ko sya pagpapalit kay panami and chat. we are a family. though gossips and reklamos have been on us made by our very dearest dorm household. who cares? we are happy. as long as they are there, i can call this hall of gossip a HOME. and to think, she's talking about her roommie behind her back, pano pa kung ka room pa namin sya? no way sister. so sorry.
chat panami rj. iloveyou! happy face :)

TAGAY DE DIABLO

2009-04-05T03:11:00.004+08:00

tournament 1 : hard drinkers
The best fucking tournament will storm manila!
Managed by the "TAGAY DE DIABLO" team!
A team of drinkers, undefeated.Earning money by doing what they do best.
Drinking.Is opening for these categories:
*Hard Drinker*Beer Drinker*Mixed Drinker*Beer Bonger

ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH?
for details and registration
ABBIE - 09266331979
NIKKI - 09279797206

P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZEP5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZEP5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZEP5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZEP5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZEP5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZE P5000 GRAND PRIZETypo error on the pic.. sorry :P

cheers to us. lets all go to hell.

CABAL.

2009-04-05T00:09:00.005+08:00

the girl on the center's my character, and the other two are other players i met at the game.

i was drunk the first time i played this. this is what boredom leads me to. pero i think its healthy, though so call unfortunate to my eyes. see. see. im not drinking everyday because of this. why am i sooo explaining? GRAAA.

so okay. when i first told bestie about the 'rpg' thingy, all he said was im beginning to lose the status quo and sink into the geek party. cme on. stay outside and drink? id rather wallow on my little hall and play with this game.

o look, here's what i got from playing:

1. i had been smoking less. like 3 to 8 sticks a day only
2. im sleeping more than 5 hours :)
3. im staying indoors. and having a healthy liver.
4. im eating less since im asleep the whole morning till afternoon. i wake up around 3pm and play continously (and since i cannot eat on midnight because of my curfew)
5. im not prone to cellphone radiation. (im barely texting)
6. im sleeping on my own bed (haha. hahaha. not on others bed or room or house)
7. im having virtual friends. (on the picture's my guild mates)
8. im spending more time with my lovely cousin, RJ.
9. and we are talking most of the time, so not to bore me.
10. im having less thoughts on problems *wink wink*
11. im hating the world less :)

im still thinking of other reasons yet... loading...

okay so im really dorky right now. PERO LOOK. im sooo having fun. parang game kasi sya sa psp that i have played before. please. dont judge me.

i still have my circle diba? DIBA CIRCLE BELONG PA DIN AKO!?

plus my virtual friends are really nice. hindi naman sila stalker mode.

magsisisi ako pag ganon. haha :)) kaya m not giving out my friendster.

BSTA. I LOVE THIS RP GAME. call me loser. id hate you. tae ka.

2009-04-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

mr potato head. where are you???...

if

2009-04-03T20:56:00.003+08:00

you blog more of yourself, youre selfish.
if you blog about the world, youre CORNY.
if you blog about other people, youre nosy.

if you think you are beautiful, you are self centered.
if you think youre not, then youre not confident.

if you dont speak out, youre no brainer AND you dont care.
if you do, then youre tactless and pakialamero.

just how do you fit in this bipolar world?

THE RICE BOWL.

2009-04-03T15:49:00.006+08:00

http://natalinne.deviantart.com/art/Rice-Bowl-107239203

QUESTION: isang butil ka ng kanin, at kasama mo ang bilyon-billyong kanin sa rice bowl. after kumain ng bumili at nagluto sayo, ikaw lang ang natira magisa sa rice bowl. hindi ka nakain. ano mararamdaman mo?

RJ: uhm, wala. wala naman akong magagawa. tapos na eh.

Rhai: wala akong pakialam kasi NFA rice lang sila lahat, ako, JASMINE! (?)
Me: eh pano nga kung itapon ka na?
Rhai: Edi emo na.

ah. ahaha. tangina. natawa ko. may sense? who cares?

Spyline: siyempre malulungkot.

sorry wla tlga kong mapost.
eto lang ata yung kahit papanong may sense na masshare ko.
i miss you blogging macci. i'll see u in puerto! :)

no need to cry though.

2009-03-30T12:28:00.006+08:00

I kept myself solidly- EMO. i, without noticing it.
until jihan came to this blog and mention ANG EMO KO. i was just there, not surprised and muttered.. "oo nga noh."
i have been blankly BITTER. about the breakup.

and now i'll just stop. this is the last time i guess. i promise.

everytime he goes into me, ZAP! i sink. i kept sinking.

for 30 days, it had been that way. too sour. with or without tears.

God just kept giving me reasons not to cry or just feel alone. kahit yung mere moment to think of him (again) come on! wla tlga. ayaw ni God na malungkot ako. and i thank him for that.

im super close with him when im happy kasi. i dont pray when im sad. baliktad when it to compare with other people.

Last 2 Saturdays: last day of school.
everone's out. saturday night eh. everyone who's SOMEONE probably's out.
come on, im invited to 3 night outs.
i just dont have the money to make it sincei had been spending all week.
i gave everything for that friday. forgetting about SATURDAY.
and i dont feel like i am any someone to call. <-ang emo ko pa neto. okay?
so i was thinking of a saturday night alone (even my cousin was out eh. wla kong kasama sa room)
and just stay EMO-ish there.
BUT.
jom puzon again was there to save me. drve me to his house. had daddy drinks (and finish the bottle) watch dvd and not pass out.
i had a good time really.
like being back to your status quo, your friends.
and it feels good when its them that ur trying to please, then you'd just have a BOOBOO but they'll all just laugh because they find it CUTE. there i knew they are my real friends. and i dont really have to be a pleaser, its when im real that they see me. that they have me. :)

Last Friday: not a happy period.
according to my hs bestfriend, im on my worst when i have.
i was sluggish and all.
my cousin and i are having a date, and i have to take an okay-pill so the whole dysmenorrhea thing wont hurt anymore.
had kidflicks, had arcade, i was all kid-like
it felt good. it was all cute. :D
as we were walking home,the emoish. (again) thingy's coming back
andrew lover txted me, booze again.
im spoiled kid.(they came from andrew's pa, picked me up and went home again)
had jose cuervo, had games, had laughs, had tuna (!) had rest before passing out had a good snore.
AND NOT HAVE A HANG OVER AFTER.

i had soo many reasons to record. do i need to be sad? i dont. i am not now.
do i need to cry? LOL. what's the point of crying?

i passed the whole reminiscing-thingy. congrats to you aiwa.

so jihan. hindi na ko magpopost ng emo blog okay?
wla lang tlga kong masabi na maganda as of today kasi I FIND EVERYTHING BORING. tara beach :)

happy.

2009-03-30T12:16:00.002+08:00

so yes, maybe she's so GAGA that she quit her job because she cant drink at night.
pero maybe that's the idea of how she's different and she's keeping it. if you can realize how much she's wasting, you'll just laugh on it. she's crazy as hell and the hard core happy-go-lucky.
she's lucky enough to have that. you brave girl you. dont you ever cry?

very really reading much the sometimes read no-nonesense blog

2009-03-27T04:13:00.002+08:00

puro ko 'very', 'much', 'really', 'sometimes' at 'no-nonesense' sa blog ko. why? ewan ko.

LOL

madaling makagetover,

2009-03-27T02:05:00.001+08:00

madaling mamatay.

2009-03-26T09:48:00.000+08:00

situps-sit stress. tangina.

where's the spotlight?

2009-03-24T07:52:00.004+08:00

im now shallow. im not empty. im now boring. im now not lying. im now bullshit-ing. myself. often.

"you cant have too many friends.."

well, beats me. this isnt the firstime i look at myself and laugh at that line.
you can. nothing is impossible with talk di ba?

you can have as many.

BUT

there will always be nights, mornings, and even the longest 10 minutes that you can record THAT YOU WILL FEEL ALONE.

and there's nothing wrong with that. i said to myself, i have soooo many friends yet i do not have one right now. someone came up to me and said, they have a life that wont include you.

which is true. i have a life that wouldnt include them also. like having my favorite book over coffee on a sunday afternoon alone.

funny how i made so many friends yet there are minutes when i feel like i dont have even one. a moment is forever. and so forever it will go to hunt me.

just so maybe that i am used to having around many people. too many to make me feel lonely. too many to feel alone. and now they are having their own time for their own life not including me, i feel... blank.

i speak too much

2009-03-23T04:04:00.003+08:00

and i spoke too soon.
whyd you have to pretend its nothing when it really is. [im pertaining to myself.] whyd you have to break when you know you cannot do it. congratulations its been 3 weeks. what do you get. sadness. emptiness.

i will brag:i am a kid royalty. some one far beyond some expectations. and yes. i got it all from pretending. and too much socializing. im no fakers. but sometimes i dont feel like myself.im not popular; the term is a cliche. but i am known. of a few. big names. to small ones.issues claim me.

"she's this." "she's that.""she did this." "she did that.""she said this." "she said that"

i envy those who do not have any trail of gossips behind their tracks as they leave the school.
i guess its the con for being too sociable.
nothing is my fault.
i wouldnt want to end my day alone either. or sit on the corner while everyone's talking to someone.

i quite recall the nights where i feel the wind at my fingers over a roadtrip
kissing someone over a game
going to drinking session with people i barely know
and barely remembering their names.

yes. i think it was me who made this status.was it a mistake?

i still have a close group of friends. immediate ones who i can call when i am in need of help.
and a larger one for social needs.

i belong to the inner circle. one of my friend said it was "automatic".
one said if i were to die, the whole school would close for the day.

sweet. enticing. heart smiling.

the happiness is there. it's bliss.
you are at the prime of your life. you alone own the spotlight.
i do. i did.

then i saw someone. not far from who i am.
i cannot quite say if i was looking at him from below or at the sky.
the spotlight was too blinding; all i know is that he owns the lime light.
that looks like a spotlight too.

perhaps i was blind. or was i just not trying to see it. i was hypnotized

he began to move me. and so it takes two to tango. i danced with him, very gracefully. giving all efforts. i tried not to step on his feet. i always make sure he feels special. that he's treated the way he wanted. because i never want to stop dancing with him. i never want him to stop the 'we', the 'us'. i love the feeling. though it tires me.but as i was getting weak, i saw myself, trying too hard, paining myself. and i knew it wasnt right. i looked at him. he was unbelievably resting. all the minutes i was paining my feet in dancing.

i had to stop. i put the sounds off.

though i enjoyed the dance, it felt like a mistake.
i bruise myself, killed my feet
and tire my heart.
i was a pity. the spotlight shun at me. i was back to the lime light.

but the trail of gossips never left me. but it was a joke. i became a joke. everyone laughing and pointing at me. there, i lose myself. i lose the circle.

for going for someone in the lower light. for someone unpretty. for someone not bagay
the circle said it. i never looked at him that way. i was too fascinated. i was too blinded. too washed.

i hate to think that i stepped down on my stage for someone who would just take me for nothing. i felt used. i felt just an ordinary plaything. i felt like a trophy.

but do i deserve this? for deserting my circle? it was me. it was my choice to leave the circle and step down on my stage. it was me who put off my spotlight. everything was my faultand it was because i thought i would be happy.

the person whom i fell inlove with had become someone i do not know.

to now im trying my best to cope up. the circle was back again with the stage and the spotlight
but i feel sad.
i am not lonely; the circle was so tight they wont let me.

but my heart is crying. it is tired. but still wants to dance.

what pains me most? to him, its as if everything now is gone. he doesnt look sad. he doesnt look tired and most of all he's not sorry.

im sorry if i brag in this blog. hindi naman ako pa-popu. there are a lot of things that i do not know. but im a little flattered. little circle. i know i am loved.

why do i feel so much special to my circle?

was i really loved?

then why cant he?

you are still my sunset

2009-03-17T02:30:00.001+08:00

I remember the day you first told me that
I was the man that had your heart
From that day forth I knew that nothing would
Ever come and tear us apart

So then people try to warn me about you
Said that I should never trust you
But so stupid so me I didn't listen then
I let myself go fall in love with you

(What happened to us)
You were supposed to be my future
Brought the ring and had to take it right back
(Were you really in love)
Or was I just a game to prove to yourself
You could get a me (yeah)

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you for now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

Your innocent smile used to drive me wild
Even though you ain't innocent at all
And now I feel so stupid cause I'm the only man
That ever loved you even with all your flaws
Even your best friend questioned why
I still would be with you after knowing your past
But what she didn't understand is knowing your past is why I thought we could last

(What happened to us)
We had something special but
What? Was I not good enough for you
(Are you really in love)
Can't show mine was fine
Cause without trying i still ended up hurting you (and I'm sorry)

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you baby now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

Maybe one day we'll end up talking again
Maybe one day we'll go back to being just friends
Promise to love you baby till my life ends
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

No matter what happened between me and you
I'll always be the man that you could run to
I loved you then I love you now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set-set

HAHA daming sinabe

2009-03-13T03:05:00.002+08:00

aira fleur is:

You Are Bold and Fearless

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

aiwa:

You Are Bold and Fearless

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

nagiiba pala pag nagkakanickname ka... tulad ni louie...

You Are Smart and Curious

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.

You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

tas magiging 'wi' lang sya:

You Are Enchanting and Artful

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.

You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.

You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

tska ni macci: (as jennifer)

You Are Level-Headed and Trustworthy

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

now as macci

You Are Powerful and Determined

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

why do people have to know who they are by seeking meanings in names when they can just atleast see things themselves. hay.

2009-03-11T23:50:00.002+08:00

i miss you. i miss having you. i miss myself with you.

tho i cannot much remember that you really cared for me, i just miss the everyday, mediocre to perfect, with you and without you in scenes, holding hands and walking home. i miss you so much. im not wishing youd have the same, we never were anyway.

2009-03-11T06:06:00.002+08:00

wala din. puro kabitteran naman na tong blog ko. ewan myself. naging happy naman ako. range? uhm, 60-40. kahit na mas madalas pakong umiyak kesa sa matulog, ganon tlga. kakainis no? kung kelan naman ako natuto magmahal ng REAL, as in, saka naman hindi yun mabigay sakin. tangina tlga. o sya sya. ayoko na magbitter dito. pinahaba ko lang para naman hindi yung multiply nya yung unang bubungad sa blog ko diba? hay.

sabi sa blog ni pabs:
"Whatever it is you want, however you want to have it, no matter why you want to have it, you can have it faster if you can first be happy without it."

eh imposible naman na kong magkagusto sa iba. sana pla nung una pa lang, hindi mo na lang sinabing mahal mo ko. kasi hindi ko naman tlga naramdaman na totoo.

wow. saya naman ng neto

2009-03-11T06:04:00.002+08:00

tamang tama ako sa reationship status. sakin pa nagpakita. tae. kung kelan hindi na kami. ARGH. sakit naman. eto na iiyak nanaman ako :( tae ka. lalaki ka lang.

pain

2009-03-11T01:27:00.005+08:00

is eating me. very much invisible [as of mass people and of daylight], but it is. it takes pleasure on the depression thats me.
tangina much, ang emo ko. dati, airom the 'bestfriend's company's enough to forget. BEFORE wasnt deep, but wasnt easy either. now im needing half of my close-enough friends' effort just to get me through this-and still wasnt enough (!). i am pretty as i walk out home to school. sabi yun ng face ko. pero sabi ng heart ko: :""C *TEARS TEARS*

AND BEAT THIS: lagi ko syang nakikita, nung kami hindi naman. tangina. i had to swallow thyself just to save my sanity not to kneel at him and beg for him to come back. seeing him everyday IS hard. like our then-everyday routine of seeing each other and staying for minutes then saying good-byes. naiiyak na ko to now. i just had my private tear-shedding in case you want to know. just now ha. my birthday was fucked up. my friends WERE planning a surprise whatsoever pero tangina ng sky, hindi ka na lang nakisama. umambon ka pa. birthday mo rin ba!? tapos pinagsalubong mo pa kami. kung hindi ka nakiepal na umulan edi sana nakauwi ako ng maaga at hindi ko sya nakita. tas everyone was at home na nung dumating ang food......$%#@![edited: not to rant in this blog. i had soooooooooooooo much rants already and i think it is enough]

every night or in every uwian, i am to remember, to text, to wait, and so to get kilig or to get upset when i can or cannot see you after class.

and how can i forget the two-year life that i had; running where-else but to you. sabi ko nga sa post ko dati, i had been gyrating on him alone and feeling like there's nothing else i need. did i press on it too much? was i not better? was i not enough?

could someone bring me back my september boyfriend? i'm missing him :(

anyone save me. put my feet back on the ground.

ugh,

2009-03-08T12:38:00.001+08:00

im having my birthday.

2009-03-08T02:54:00.003+08:00

and it sucks. my heart is damn broken. and to mind, im not open for another one. maybe not just yet. PLEASE. help me.

and i cannot face defeat. i never lose-well atleast the winning isnt profound. not very much winning-but atleast not losing. my life is fucked up, but well i guess, this isnt the first time.

i dont feel much of a loser now. having them make it impossible to make me feel that. God gave me too many responses to my ever eternal prayers-and sign asking. i ended with a sigh, and a smile. though very very very painful.

okay lang everything. atleast i get to experience it. how his love is, and maybe it just wont fit mine. no matter what and how i want it. it just isnt 'it'.

i still love you. but i'll forget soon- not you. i'll forget the pain, and the tears youve made me. you did made me a better person-a better stronger one... but now i'll just lie to my self and let me eat bitterness. because i love you so much and it hurts that 'we' are done, but i'll be okay soon. i'll go on with my life and be happy that it happened. and its what i really wanted anyway. my own dose of pill. good-bye love. i'll miss you. do not forget the 'us' that was US.

and i have a broken heart.

2009-03-08T02:41:00.001+08:00

BLOGLEAVE.

2009-03-04T12:22:00.001+08:00

i dont wanto talk. completely. id be okay. i know.

POT :)

2009-02-23T09:28:00.002+08:00

wla nkong social life. minsan lang ako hindi magreply lalo na sa taong mga kailangan ako. i need them too though. but time doesnt.

"bawas yosi pot.. pwede ka naman ndi magyosi eh.. *oo na para na
akong tatay. hehe*"

-gian mendoza feb 19 2009 22:11:02

"Pot! Miss na ktaaaaaa! Tae"

-gian mendoza feb 21 2009 22:20:40

almost blog leave

2009-02-23T09:18:00.002+08:00

im sorry. I REAAAAALLY wanto write, type, spill my rants here but TIME DOESNT DIDNT CANNOT PERMIT ME. i find it a crime to blog, eat, sleep. EVEN BLINK.

how cruel can this fashion show be? or was it my fault?

ANAK KA NG PATOLA!

2009-02-19T02:24:00.002+08:00

-bes chy

okay. all along akala ko patatas ako.

last.

"espasol ng pag-ibig. JEEEWK."

haha.

Titanic Two: The Surface

2009-02-16T18:16:00.002+08:00

POINT IS. it has got no point.

first: yes, jack is angry, confused and sober because he's in a new world he never knew. then?
second: rose is dead. the trailer didnt show any new one.
third: its a big SO WHAT?! so what if jack's reincarnated from the frozen atlantic. so what if he's in newyork and troubled. the ending would be exciting but the whole lot has really really really got no point.

funny thing about this is that it came from 23 different movie including the titanic it came from. most of the cuts are from catch me if you can. the 'director's really really GOOD, creative and spontaneous. KUDOS! :D

walang sense.

2009-02-16T10:49:00.006+08:00

POT MARUNONG NA AKO MAGBIKE
-gian mendoza, feb 15 2009, 10:34:43h

followed by: "PUTANGINA, MARUNONG NAKO MAGBIKE..." blah blah blah. something like that, still in ALL CAPS.

i cant stop laughing. i was on our LTS site and i look really dopey.

feb 15, sunday: 12 hours of hunger strike. did not sleep for and on the trip. troubled, bothered-EWAN. salamat sa House Bunny, Slumdog Millionaire, at Shaun of the Dead- Mejo nahimasmasan ako sa stress na iniiyak ko.

after LTS:
meet up potpot at ust. photoshoot for fashion with tanya and kim. masarap pala mag yosi sa field. thankyou sa arki week.
photoshoot more. ako ang 'subject' lover'slane lighting is divine. afterafter: icecream date. YEY. thankyou pot.

ako: pot, pano kaya kung mamatay ako. may marerealize kaya si billy?
pot: wala. magiinternet lang yon.
ako: HAHA. *sad face*

after pot:
meet up rangel and airom. YEY. i miss you airomBOI. jjampong noodles. YEY.

ang sarap ng buhay ko pag sila lang iniisip at iniintindi ko. promise.

no bitterness here. FOR REAL to.

pero wala eh. magdusa ka na lang aiwa.

this.blog.got.no.sense.

"by wag mo na ko bigyan ng flowers ha. mdameng tao sa dangwa."

2009-02-15T02:21:00.006+08:00

-ako

2009:

FIRST VALENTINES KO [after highschool] NA MASAYA.

2007: nag-eemo sa pagkawala ng friendship nmen ni airom AT sa sobrang malas ko, nalockan ako ng dorm. dala ko pa yung flowers para kay ate.

2008: nakitulog ako sa dorm ng isang guy kasi amoy alak at yosi ako kasi birthday celeb ni friend. at yung guy, loveteam sila ni friend. walang nangyari dahil kadiri, di ako ganon. PEROO. nagkagusto ako sa guy na yun and secret na yung iba. wala ng nangyari na dun.
dinitch ako ni james sison planned date namin. BUHAT KO PA ANG ISANG MALAKING BAG GALING TRAINING PARA LANG MAGMUKHANG MAGANDA PARA SA KANYA HA. and so ended up 'sort of' dating 3 other guys plus NIKIAHHH. masaya na sana. kaso ang gago ko, mahal ko padin si billy non at wala akong magawa.

2009: YEY. atlast. kahit nagaaway kami at hindi nya ko pinapansin nung time na yon kakainternet, natuloy na din ang pinakawiniwish kong: OVERNIGHT.
wala namang mangyayari. hnggang sweet na hug lang tlga kami at cuddle habang sleep [kahit minsan nakakainis na. hug LANG.] moving on, mga 2 oras lang kami nagsleep at bitin pa. hindi ko nga alam kung nakatulog tlga ko kasi nakoconcious ako kasi baka mag 'chainsaw snore' [sabi ni potpot] ako. bwiset. pero ang cute. KINIKILIG AKO. hee :D

ansaya saya ko kahit na mukha kong gaga sa picture ko at ang cute ni billy. bibi cute ka promise. hindi kita binobola. kahit ako lang ang nakakakita. okay lang yun. wala ko pakelam sa kanila :D

hindi ko alam gusto ko mangyare, gusto kong sabihin, kung malungkot ba tlga ko o masaya. EWAN YOU ALL. mageeLTS muna ko. *chee*

"LOVE IS NOT IN THE DESIRE TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE,BUT IN THE NEED TO SLEEP NEXT TO SOMEONE."-MILAN KUNDERA [kinuha ko kay louie]

BILLY ADRIANNE MARTINEZ

2009-02-15T02:19:00.002+08:00

i so love you. kahit na tae ka. abnormal ko kasi love kita. ee. sige na love mo na din ako :3

i love you retard boyfriend ♥

l♥vemuch

2009-02-14T19:30:00.001+08:00

LOVE is patient, love is kind
It does not envy and it keeps no record of wrongs,
Love always protect,trust,hope
LOVE bears all things,endures all
things,believes all things,hopes all things
LOVE never ends

and perhaps it is love when he bends to reach you and when he can't its learning how to find a stride and stepping to it for your reach.
[or just when you have to kiss him but you realize you're too short -.-]
imissyouretard. ilysm ♥

haha,

2009-02-12T16:33:00.004+08:00

NATAWA KO!

pot was telling me about this chick his office mate hooked up with him. so there, pinakita ni pot yung girl thru fster, sabi ko pa i dont find her pretty, tas sabi ni pot "okay lang" sabi ko ampanget ng taste nga. WAHAHA. ang galing ko magsalita noh? HAROO.

parang wla lang akong klangang gawin

2009-02-11T04:24:00.004+08:00

1.Who was your last 4 texts from?
- kish, airom, gianpot, pwet
2.Where was your display picture taken?
-macci's house.
3.What's your middle name?
-lim supposed to be. casiding for security status.
4.Your current relationship status?
-cn i say 'it's complicated?'
5.Does your crush like you back?
-hahaha.
6.What is your current mood?
-hungry
7.What color of shirt are you wearing?
-navy stripes.
8.If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
-definitely.
9.Where was the last place out of town, that you went to
- nueva ecija
10.Ever had a near death experience?
-nightmare. and almost got hit by a car.
11.Something you do a lot?
-blog
12.Who can you tell anything to?
-potpot. chy. rom
13.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
-makee and nico
14.When was the last time you cried?
-while ago.
15.Where are you right now?
-mess hall.
16.If you could have one super power what would it be?
-fly
17.What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
-height
18.What is a quote that you believe?
-art is life. living is a lie.
19.Favorite color?
-blue
20.What is one thing that annoys you on Tv?
-cheesy scripted lines. very unhuman.
21.Do you still like kiddie movies?
-yup
22.What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
- none
23.Do you speak any other languages?
-english
23.What's your favorite smell?
- vanilla sweet scents
24.Describe your life in one word?
-mediocre. typical.
25.Have any tattoos?
-will.soon.
26.What are you looking forward to most of the time?
- shutup.
27.What are you thinking about right now?
-alot.
28.What should you be doing?
- a lot.
29.Who was the last person to make you upset/angry?
-who else. billy.
30.Do you like working in the yard?
- nope
31.What color are your nails?
- none
32.Do you act differently around the person you like?
-yes
33.What is your natural hair color?
- black
34.Why did you cry the last time you did?
- shutup
35.Have you ever intentionally made someone jealous?
-yea
36.What's something you're excited about right now?
- none
37.Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut?
- times.
38.Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
- yes
39.What movie never fails to make you cry?
- none. i stop at one time though.
40.Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
- yes. he even made me cry
41.Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
- yes
42.What does the last text message on your phone say?
- kish came from taping bla bla bla.
43.Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?
- yes
44.Do you know who likes you?
- yes
45.Can you last in a relationship for 3 months?
- TAENG SURVEY SINAGUTAN PA KITA.
46.Look behind you, what do you see?
- chairs
47.Do you have good eye sight?
- yes
48.Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend?
-yes
49.Do you think your mom has secrets she's never told you?
- yes
50.If someone went through your pictures would they find a "bad" one?
- ofcourse
51.Who was the last person that called you?
-unknown numbers
52.How is your room looking?
-mess
53.Do you fall for people easily?
-no
54.What is it you truly want right now?
-forget
55.Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
- no
56.Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
- yes
57.What are you doing tomorrow?
- a lot
58.What was/is your worst subject in school?
- english.boring nuf.
59.What is the best eye colors on a member of the opposite sex?
-brown
60.What was the last movie you watched?
-7 pounds

fabfeb :)

2009-02-09T18:17:00.007+08:00

V-PLAN DATES:

maiah's: sunken garden with the boys for sale and chy
ken's: movie atleast
airomboi's: anywhere but here. [alcohol.shouts.today.]
rhai's: bad girls day. alchemy probably.
nica's: movie marathon at her dorm, or anywhere.
onesee casts': anywhere.anywhere.anywhere.

valentine's not until 5 days, and i had been getting 'invites' since last 2 weeks. imsorry. i am not to make any plans until 'the boyfriend' does it. it had been a hell february for us. i had to not think of him since i realized i had been dreadly SERIOUS in everything like we are to marry. i am effin crazy tlga. i am sorry that i had been more demanding than a good girlfriend should be. i i am requiring him;ways that i really should not, so it would look more pleasant to people since i look really 'kawawa' eversince w e havebeen together [and i had always been the 'princess' for my bestfriends] i dont and wont care with judgements anymore. sige call me martyr, tanga, boba-it wont change anything. i guess, sakit ko tlga to. falling deeply in love again and again with the same person and sticking to it. still, this is my life and you'd probably get nothing with nosing on it.
so for the remaining days of my february, aside from promising to be vacant for the valentines day, i promise to:

1. GO HOME. and not wake up from other home's sofa/bed/sala/bedroom.
__1.2 if ever you can't, sleep with trusty people. else, cover yourself.
2. PASS PLATES on time. or just pass it. with PLEASE.
3. EAT VEGGIES. since i had been eating weirdly NORMAL-but only of SIOMAI.
4. NOT SPEND ON ANOTHER SHADES and or CAP and or SHIRT.
5.TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY. but with billy. CAREER FIRST ha?
6. BLOG only TWICE each week. not each day.
7. POST-IT again, remember, you can't remember. ♥

ouch.

2009-02-09T17:20:00.001+08:00

"THE MOST PATHETIC PERSON IS ONE WITH
SIGHT BUT NO VISION AT ALL...AS I MATURE"

Ive learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.Ive learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.Ive learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.Ive learned that you can get by on charm for fifteen minutes. After that you'd better have big willy or big boobs.Ive learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, they are more screwed up than you think.Ive learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.Ive learned that we are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.Ive learned that regardless of how hot stew and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there better be a lot of money to take its place.Ive learned that 99% of the time isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.Ive learned that the people you care most in your life are taken from you soon, and the less important just never go away.

repost.from.rap's.about.me.

2009-02-08T18:57:00.001+08:00

♥

blog reveals!

YEY.

open na sya

for public.

GOSSIP ME.

2009-02-07T01:13:00.003+08:00

hinalikan ako ng guy na to. swear. mamatay na nagsisinungaling sa blog ko.

okay so 'beso' lang tlga yon, and i know i reeeeeeeeeally sound CHEAP typing these pero di ko mapigilan. wag ng choosy. AMBUSH ang beso kahit na nagkapantal ako sa stubbles. KABOG.

hindi na uso Edward Cullen. Edouard George na ngayon.

MARRY ME.

salamat remo at friend kita. heart.

laglag me.

joke. not very matangkad. sayang.

I LOST MY LUCK

2009-02-02T09:09:00.005+08:00

with the funny-coincidence of its likeness with the movie, yes i think i just lost my luck.

things are getting better-but i am on my worst.

i finished eveything for LTS-but KEN led me to PNOV gate which made all my efforts "SAYANG". the bus left me minutes after i stepped on UST

i finalized my designs for the fashion show but my male model with all his unreasonable antics, wasted my time for nothing.

and lastly, when i just had the time for everything, and my loads are getting light, i am happy with my life with everything that i lost-came back, is when i realized i lost my boyfriend and i cant seem to move on.

i was just having my "habilins" if ever id die because of my too-real-to-be-happy-January, then i just came losing things when im not ready enough.

i guess God, really still have no plans of taking me after all.

iam again

2009-01-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

flooding my blog. HAHA

iam

2009-01-30T03:33:00.005+08:00

...vulnerable. becaaaaaaaaaaaause. i am stupid. thinking i can handle the pain without 'the billy'. i cannot. i guess i can never, or maybe in time, not just now. it pains to see my self how LOW i dig my own grave just to be with him. the shame, the pranks, the everything including the pity with the kadiri feeling of being KAWAWA.

"gusto mo tlga si billy no?" -PANAMI

...inlove with him, ofcourse i do. and as it isnt easy for me to fall inlove, it wasnt easy to fall out too. its as if i breathe to be with him, cheesy; yes. but true. i guess i will always be in that way, as long as we are together.

"weh?! nanaman? so hnggang kelan naman nyan?" - macci and louie on telling them we broke up.

...stupid. i do not know. i stilll want him back. i still want him around even though that means another stupid days, another round of taunts and "loser" that wont have the need of posting right on my forehead because it's already damn OBVIOUS.

"inom ka na lang. makakalimutan mo ang sakit, pero it won't go away" -bitch #2, andrew apuya

Yes you are right andrew, kahit tulog kna at naghihilik sa likod ko.

midnight, iloveyou. change my love, rather, change billy, literally.

and because

2009-01-30T03:28:00.002+08:00

GAB IS MABENTA. [ and he requested for a more 'cutie' pic ]
there you go.

DROOL LOUIE! HAHA :))

word of the day:

2009-01-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

CHAYNIS PULITICIAN! :D

2009 comments!

2009-01-28T21:34:00.001+08:00

THINGS TO DO 3 weeks ago [and still]

2009-01-28T21:33:00.000+08:00

DRFL PLATES

CFD: FITTING AND CLOTH SCOUTING

CFD: sketches

ADES PLATE: always.

HAR: REPORT

SCL: DOCU

jimmy eat world - sweetness.LOVE.eat.stress.to.keep.you.on.your.toes.

on intensity:

2009-01-28T21:32:00.003+08:00

i proved myself i am happy. though incomplete. "if only he was..." were the words that my friends would tell me, being sorry for what's happening.
i never wanted this anyway, i dont think i lack something or had something that i forgot to give. i was in a complete blank paper as he started to write our love story; yes. i forgot everything for him.
yet i still feel like a total loser. things that i did before to "the exies" are coming back to me, just in a different way of kicking my butt off. i use to take them for granted, and then he did so too. i use to unmind them while they had their worries for me on shoulder. karma as they say, good or bad, will come to me even if i try to hide. goodthing my friends are still there. i cant say im lonely.
PRE-BROKE UP MODE. yes we're still together, just placing ourselves on juxtapose and spaces.
yet i manage to LAUGH, SMILE, KID and WRESTLE. may not be the best night but this one's better.
thankyou precious/es. [LOL]

on falling out of love

2009-01-27T22:03:00.002+08:00

im not falling out though, not yet. but i have learned to resist him so he could make his way to me. its all tiring when you began to think that you are the only one running for your relationship while the other half is all on thought of 'she understands [naman]' and taking it for granted. i am tired. i dont think things between are still making sense.
we are happy [i am] with ourselves-that excludes what is between us.
this is the time when i dont find it endearing to call/name him boyfriend [when he really isnt] and saying 'i love you' when i know something have had taking change on it.
it still stings when i think i will have a serious and very crappy break-up with him. [only except when i am with these particular people]

i find it more and more unappealing to talk to him or be with him.
exclude dreamy 'meetups'-i know they wont happen after all.
MONTHS have passed yet HE never found the time for our 'only US-TWO' date. considering the cons to it, the budget, and all his shit reasons; im not hoping and or dreaming of it anymore.
i prefer to think of more useful things and learned to accept it- he will never be spontaneously thinking of romantic things-and i have to deal with it [if i ever still want to be with him]

idk if this is right, but i have to do it. save me from shame. im happy naman eh. if this will lead to a break-up then i will admit this as my fault.

FOR SALE

2009-01-27T03:08:00.005+08:00

"aiwa, pakilala mo naman kami sa chicks."

"aiwa, bigyan mo naman kami ng ULAM. [lol]"

"aiwa, pakilala mo naman kami sa friends mo. yung mgnda ha."

"aiwa bigyan mo naman ako ng chick jan."

DO I LOOK LIKE AN EFFIN CHICKEN TO GIVE YOU CHICKS!? [lmao. im not mad bitches]

so to put a stop to the intriguing[ly] irritating KULIT. i am putting you in auction. i have to ask for gab first for this to be posted on multiply. HAHA. :))

______________________________________

GAB JOVES : THE COACH

nice bod girls, athletic, smart [no, really?] active and outgoing.

cons: looks and acts retard like OFTEN.

but yes, he's CUTE.

ANDREW APUYA : THE RICH KID

nuff said. haha

VERY ARTISTIC-LY MAGALING. he just know everything [i suppose]

he's super sweet. his cool gadget-thingys rocks me LOWL.

cons: he's rich and kuripot. HAHA [pero minsan lang naman]

GIAN MENDOZA : THE PERFECT

he's the perfect man alive. with the stereotype 'maginoo pero mejo bastos' cliches that filipina girls dig, this guy is not just a pretty face. he's your perfect mate.

he's in no nonsense talk. i swear you wont get bored. next, he's SENSIBLE and SWEET and LOYAL, SENSITIVE, FUN.. can i just say perfect?

hot bod+brains+heart= PERFECT GUY.

cons: ofcourse may CONS padin. GIAN IS VAIN. and he wont stop until he satisfies his vanity. that means walking for more than 5 hours non-stop bust because he's looking for 'SHOES', aaaand he's UNLUCKY haha. [secret eh sorry]

NEXT time na yung iba kong bitch/es. HAHA. inaantok na me

PIMP-fun.

ABOUT ME

2009-01-27T02:30:00.004+08:00

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20)Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of good luck if you forward.

idk if i am generous kind and thoughtful.

i may be creative enough but minus the dreamy works.
alls left for me are the 'PARA SA SCHOOL' warshock-like effects

i am not secretive though. yes sometimes. i confess
DEEP ones over prayers :P i would BLOG if im THAT secretive.

i am sensitive at times. i have these unconscious
thoughts that made me CONSCIOUS over environment. and i prefer assuming i can
read minds.

i dont like details much. but of art ofcourse. over
reality, i dont like much explanations. BECAUSE.BECAUSE.BECAUSE. im easily
brain-washed.

i am dreamy and unrealistic REALLY. explains why i had
survived over a multitude SORROWS, break-ups, unluckiness [if that word exist]
and everything. i pretend i am not who i am [note: scary. i might just have this
double personality whatsoever] AND. i pretend i am happy when im not. [i dont
think this has any relations to the selection..zzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ]

AWW. im sympathetic and loving. YES. humble.humble.

I AM A GOOD KISSER wahaha. ........ .....

i am beautiful [?]

this is the SUPER bola repost EVER.
['bola muna' policy before the chain message]

LOVE.

2009-01-23T22:52:00.003+08:00

nameless. unprofessional-yet-best psychologist-ish luckycharm :D friday ended good. :D

aiwa: naiinis na ko kay billy dear. wlang effort.
---- : NAIINIS DIN AKO SAKANYA
aiwa: d ko lam gagawin ko. it hurts.
---- : ang hirap maging bata
---- : shet di ko maexplain
---- : point is.... ewan
---- : ayoko na cia tlga for you e
BUZZ!!!
---- : dear
aiwa: im reading [listening]
---- : pag may dumating na for real next
---- : tas ni love ka
---- : tas gusto mo din
---- : iwanan mo na c billy
---- : UNLESS magchange cia
---- : pero kung lagi k lng nasasaktan
---- : I WANT YOU TO BE AS HAPPY AS I AM
---- : ngaun ko lng nafeel kaya to
aiwa: im happy. pero dahil sa inyo yun
---- : oo nga noh
---- : ako din e i was as happy din nmn dati nung dahil sainyo e
---- : actually.. SO FAR ... maski wala to... happy pa din ako
---- : naging 'happier' lng ako
aiwa: idk what to do. hnd enough yung pagiging mabait.
aiwa: he's being abusive.
---- : kailangan mo ng effort from him
---- : TANGINANG THE FUCK
---- : alam mo ewan ko lng ah... pero kung maaabuse ako... iiwanan ko
---- : AIWA ANU BA.. ang dami daming nagkakagusto sayo e
aiwa: eh hindi ko kaya
---- : shet... oh love.
aiwa: i know. eh i wont be happy kung hnd sya.
---- : eto eto eto
---- : tangina ang hirap magadvice dahil.. sino nman ba ako diba?
---- : perooo
---- : baka kailangan mo maging fierce this time
---- : hindi ung lagi mo ciang pinagbbgyan
aiwa: eh baka iwanan nya ko.
---- : ayoko tlga ng maabuso ka
---- : FUCK HIM! ang epal naiirita ako nung narinig ko ung "abusive"
aiwa: iknow. ikaw lang may alam nito. ayoko ng magmukhang kawawa.
---- : kayo kaya nagturo sakin maging self-sufficient
---- : na hindi ko kaylangang ng ISANG lalake na magmamahal sakin
---- : kasi kaya ko ng wala CIA
---- : naiirita ko.. parang ayoko na pansinin c billy
---- : fine masrap cia kausap etc etc
---- : pero love kita dear e
---- : isang dakilang how dare him
aiwa: [name here] i feel like crying.
---- : ako din... anu b gngwa nia?
---- : tangina.. ang hirap naman magmahal
aiwa: yun na yung point. wla syang ginagwa.
---- : alam mo ba na natatakot pa din akong magmahal
---- : tanung mo nga cia kung love ka talaga nia
aiwa: ayko kasing makipagaway dahil lang sa reason na hnd nya ko napuntahan o wla syng time kasi ang SELFISH..pero FUCK! ansakit.
---- : kung mahal ka nia, makakagawa cia ng time
---- : ALAM NAMAN NATIN UN E
---- : kinakampihan lng cia ng friends nia dahil mas mukha ciang nakakaawa sainyo.. kasi masaya ka
---- : NAIIRITA KO
---- : bat ka nia nasasaktan ng ganyan
---- : siigggghhhhhhh
aiwa: ee. ewan. di ko lam gagawin ko
---- : onga e
---- : love mo xe e
aiwa: SIGH.
---- : how can such a happy girl like you be in such a bitter scenario
aiwa: nako.SANAY NA ME.
---- : putanginang yan. ayokong masanay ka.
aiwa: i came from a freaking broken family. sanay nako.
aiwa: di ko alam why it had to happen again. with him.
---- : wag mo nga igaya ung family life mo sa kanya
---- : its changeable
---- : alam naman natin un e
aiwa: anong gagawin ko sknya? TANGINA MATUTULOG AKO JAN.
---- : kelan?
---- : ngaun?
aiwa: now. NAIIYAK NA TLGA KO. WTF.
---- : CGE TARALETS
---- : papaalam na ko
aiwa: ay wait
aiwa: may class ako 7
---- : ako din may class e
---- : edi sabay tayo papasok
aiwa: 7 din?
---- : 8..pero edi 7 ako papasok
aiwa: cge cge.
aiwa: [name here], ur therapheutic
aiwa: or watever its spelled.
---- : hindi.. im eye opening
---- : watever its called
---- : TAMA NA CHAT
---- : go here na!!
---- : ingat youuuuu

THIS POST IS THE FIRST NON-MIDNIGHT BLOG POST. WOW BAGO!

2009-01-23T22:12:00.001+08:00

mary claire

2009-01-23T18:48:00.001+08:00

is so landi. girlfriend-crazy bitch.

glob glob

mai-yahee. mai-yah-how. mai-ya-hoo. mai-ya-ha-ha.

maiah

me the GRASS.

2009-01-23T18:08:00.000+08:00

i spent the whole day finding the freaking time to catch you. what's left for me is a minute too fast to see you. when i did you said nothing. you have someone else to talk to. i am like a freaking HALAMAN. you [curse here]!

i envy you macci. i am green with sheer envy.

*halaman: [filipino] slang out of place, ignored, unbothered, snubbed, disregarded, paid no attention to.

LOLing.

2009-01-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

aiwa: magblog ka kya about sa inyo. SUPER pahapyaw. para may konting controversy.
macci: HAHA CGE!
macci: I LOVE YOU
macci: i like that!!!

aiwa: CGE. aabangan ko yan
macci : anu pala ung pahapyaw?

aiwa: [macci u are crazy. akala mo alam mo] [thinks] [hindi ko din pala alam]

HAHAHAHA. iloveyou mac. ur better than a 'luck charm' as you call me.
LOLing for your cute-sy [but very unintimate] boyfriend scene makes me KILIG.

*hea[r]t

migraine

2009-01-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

starts from the morning i wake up. till i eat bfast. till i go shower. till i go to class. till it ends. till i ate luch. till just i finish my day.

starts from the right temple, then to my nape, then goes around my whole freaking head

i think i have this LOW-BLOOD thing. it sucks. i ate like a human-which is very unusal to me because i eat like a chicken. and fuck the fats it will put on me.

im ready to blow.

YUCK

2009-01-22T17:23:00.000+08:00

feeling ni billy. but true. and i hate you.

iloveyou.
**

**nvm the un-italicized caption.

gays.

2009-01-22T17:12:00.000+08:00

i have quite a large number of GAY friends, not particularly inhabiting only on my dear colegio, but some that i have met back in highschool, befriended on my suking carinderia or introduced by my other gay friends. personally, i think they are far better than insecure girlfriends i had before. they are protective like gentlemen, and soft as a princess. believe me, you won't regret having them-ever.

Facts about GAYS
1. Gays are born, not made.
2. Being gay is not a choice - who would choose to be hated and discriminated against?
3. Gays are not automatically pedophiles.
4. Gays don't cause AIDS. AIDS is a virus.
5. You can't get AIDS from talking to or being near a gay person because it's not spread that way.
6. Gays are just as capable of long term relationships as straights, and some of them are even better at it than straights are.
7. Letting gay people have civil marriage will not bring about the end of marriage, FOX already did that with all its marriage reality shows.
8. Gay people often have a wicked sense of humor and wit and if you ever talked to one you'd know that.
9. Gay women were not put on earth for straight men's amusement, that "lesbian" porno situation will never happen to you.
10. Not all gays fit the stereotype. There could be one right next to you right now and you'd never notice. You might be best friends with one or related to one and you'd never notice.

so much of loving gays, i hate the last numbered fact. and i dont wanto talk. bebe gandanghari's outcome is very much un/appealing. consider it enough.

skfhdgsjskdldldhgskyhstebdjcuvhndjfkgkdjdhsdsfghjkwertyuiFUCK.

photofun

2009-01-21T20:40:00.000+08:00

http://www.photofunia.com/

butterflies.are.evil

2009-01-21T18:23:00.000+08:00

even after hate posts for him i'd still end the day dedicating everything for him

i am boyfriend crazy. stupid. loser. and very human.

accept it people. im nonetheless just a hopeless [put adjective here] girl
with her unique way of falling and staying in love. [or desperation you might say.]

ilyretard.ily.

myloserselfistakinganothersurvey

2009-01-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

which was supposed to be answered first thing on the newyear's day. but yes im a loser. january's ending. whatev. i still wanto. nainggit ako kay pennyatot.

(Best song) na halos buong year kinakanta mo

- Superhuman - Chris Brown

(Best movie) na hindi mo malilimutan yung kasama mo nung pinanuod mo yun

- BALER. HAHAHA. na hindi ko naman tinapos. and Twilight :)

(Best friend/s) na laging anjan, super kilala ka na

- oh shit.

(Best buddy) na lagi mong kasama san ka magpunta

- BAND!

(Best barkada) na lagi mong kachismisan

- AD2 selected people :)

(Best kiss) ahaha

- FIRST kay billy? haha. after 2 years. still gives me shivers. LOL

(Best decision) ever made this year. ahem

- let go if you must. [or if they make you worse.]

(Best new found friend) na naka inuman mo na

- uhm, yung friends ni billy?

(Best idea when drunk) ung mang aya ng iba sa inuman

- NEVER decide. its freaking stupid.

(Best TV show) ikamamatay mo pag di mo napanuod

- singing bee? WAHAHA.

(Best loyal friends) na anjan pa rin just a text away then gora na to bars

- diwata girlfriends!

(Biggest change) na hindi makapaniwala friends mo sa nakita nila

- HAHA :) i dont hate anymore. minus pa the pride.

(Best gimmick) this year na hindi mo malilimutan

- NIKKIAHHS birthday.

(Best hangout) lugar na lagi niong pinupuntahan

- mayrics.

(Best chismis) that rocked your world

- HAHA. freak.

(Best restaurant) that tickled your taste buds

- 1611. haha. and MCDO padin :D

(Biggest issue) na hindi mamatay matay kahit patay na

- my ex bestfriend is a .

(Best prof) ay, prof na kahit walang sabihin gagawa ka

- si becky.

(Best awarded by parents) ung laging late umuuwi at nakakagalitan ng parents

- si macci. year-ender spoiler.

(Best look) ung look na hindi mo matanggal sa isip mo the whole year

- HIPPYHOP!

(Best time) ung kahit ulit ulitin hindi ka magsasawang ulitin ulit

- september [highlight here] kilig moments

(Biggest new career) bagong step sa outer world

- be the best band epal in the campus. yuck.

(Best place you’ve been) na ayaw mo ng umalis

- balay's? haha. freak nahihiya ako pag naaalala ko.

iloveyou2008

he's

2009-01-21T17:04:00.000+08:00

eating my crappy disposition. boi, im glad ur back. :D

bullshit.

2009-01-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

i am speaking bullshit. always.

i had this 'pre break-up' syndrome just hours ago when billy started ignoring my sms.
i was already doubting and [very not obvious-ly] freaking out [inside]
panami noticed my silence.
i realized i cannot much lie to myself. i was unconsciously un-minding the world infront of my face, it was noticeable that i was thinking harshly deep.

i cannot deny; infact i was literally clenching my chest because it pains too hard. yes, i cannot still go on without him. even with airom back being my bestfriend. no one can still replace his.

you are a hard candy. very pleasantly, sweetly taking rough on me.

and.

2009-01-20T03:54:00.000+08:00

i hate the fact that i can't resist you.

i cant make pigil. fuckers.

im an asshole. a dumb asshole.

askajlfasjkshjgsjhkajlsajkwieyoshjkshkkjs

disclaimer

2009-01-20T03:10:00.000+08:00

for the previous blog.

i do not know how to hate.
and i hate it.

i hate the fact that im being superficialy prideless that made me look, act and be a push-over
one time too many.

yuniz was right tho.
macci. i need not happiness now. i think i need to have PRIDE.

is that right?

iamboyfriend-crazy bitch.

2009-01-20T02:02:00.000+08:00

but i think i wont cry if he'll go just right now.
or on my clean sane self.
i think i am complete, but not HIM as my usual reason
as macci would state: THE BESTFRIEND.
i just had him back and i'm happy. i lost billy too, 3 years ago and i had him back now he's pulling the strings the hell of me. i just had my happy post but now this. im hating the thought that im pretending that WE are okay when we really are not.
okay spare me the paranoia that i have been dreadfully SERIOUS in our relationship.
WATDAFAK. he's been like THE LIFE I HAVE KNOWN FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS AND STILL I AM SO NOT OVER IT.
i will really try to hush my insane clingy self.
i promised i will try not to hate him.
i dont think i dont deserve such
i feel like im a TROPHY.
it very is much familiar to me. i used to play this trophy-thing before but the hell, just tell me if this is not real or not. i can manage not to cry the way i used to.
if i would act the way he does, id be SELFISH. if i act the same, being sweet while he being snobbish and not very giving id be a stupid loser martyr girlfriend.idkwhattodofreaks.

and i still cant call and give him the 'boyfriend' title since we dont have a date to call it official
[stupid. i do and LABEL him my boyfriend anywhere]

im sick.darn it.

i hate you. please, dont make me hate you more.

BLISS.

2009-01-19T20:27:00.001+08:00

_im having the major headache called migraine. i had this since yesterday.
but im happy..

I'm living my life. :D

I'm having the best time of my days and living my beautiful life to the fullest. Quite guilty that I may not have this on the perfect state [like not having the my dean’s list dreams or having my complete attendance in my morbid, anti-social professor’s class] but I am loving what I'm having right now; it’s what matters most right? I'm having the most amusing SOCIAL life. My friend’s are the greatest. I'm now free with the one-best friend theme and chainless to hearing her sulk in insecurities like before. [you know what I mean, right?] I’m having more of my family life. I'm not having nonsense arguments with mom and petty fights with my sisters. I have the most wonderful retard boyfriend and though we don’t see each other much, [we live of the same building, though] I am pretty happy with him and his absence just make me fonder to meeting him every single day. I think I have my marketing class on a slow, but sure status; minus the deadly nosebleed-ing talks with my classmates.
But the best part of it, is that I just had my LUCK back. I miss it 2 to 3 years ago, I think.
I lost A LOT back then: it became my frustration. I was immature; I was angry over senseless things always. Now I had THEM back. I am in my highest state of happiness and I want to share it to people. Mediocrity calls that I still had my loss to people, but the hell, I deserve this kind of happiness and I don’t mind if I’d be having them back, or NOT. They don’t deserve having who I am today, I am in my conceited-not-but-proud self, better, and I have the people who love and like me. i do not hate you ,though. i still have my pride. and yes, you are welcome to come back to my life. it's your choice. make your way :D

Anyway, thanks to them, I found my real friends and my real BLISS.
I can be careless, clumsy, cheesy, retard self that I REALLY am. I don’t care about judgemental talks, gossips or whatsoever anymore. Having to care about them is a waste, and I'm holding on my time.
I still cry over things, it’s the part where I know I had been over-ly happy.
My heart just grew bigger.

[im posting pictures, no one knows my blog anyway, xcpt for few people..]

****

boi. im glad ur back. :D you make me more happy.

macci. imsohappy for having you. you made me happier. you gave me the key in finding real happiness. youre the bestest. i love having bolahans with you. its pure honesty. we need bonding. imahal you to the max. super.

beshy. i miss you. we'd be having our 2nd-year happy-max beshy day soon. iloveyou and i miss you. i wish for spending more days with you.

mom. iloveyou. having a boyfriend is not a sin. live your life happy. have no rants. no one is 'kawawa'. i am not. when i am, i pretend i am not. i am happy that i came from you. you are the perfectest mother i know.

to jojo, ces, jed and the rest. you are the bestest. i wish for more days with you. ILY.

to the cast of room 1C of my dear home Sta. Fina gay dorm. i am so happy i met you people. ilove our silly-ness we're having everytime. you are family. a crazy family.

i love you 'BESTIE' title. i love you more. you understand my every rants and out(but short)comings. i wish for more beer nights with you. you made my new year a blissful start. be healthy.

girlfriends. i miss you. i miss being a kid with you. most especially having hot gimik nights with you. you complete my college years. i cannot imagine myself if i ddnt meet you.

potpot you are very much loved. i am happy because you trust me. i am happy with your vain ego-centric self.

my band you are not vulnerable. we are just so busy. stay bein sync. iloveyous. expi. please stay out of smoke. rj, baby. i am lucky to have you. you are my everyday sunshine. please make me stop hating your kalat. jomel, you are very pogi. i'll be your girlfriend soon. no joke here. macci. you are very bright. ilove your compos. i read it on your blog. im excited.

macky. i miss and will miss very single second youre not with us. i am a fan of your blog and your lovestory. stay happy.

i miss you. i love your gm's though it kept my fone full. atleast you update me. no one can replace you.

no one can replace you either.our bond is more than friends. we're.. brothers? haha! :D

iloveyou. even though we fight a lot.i hope our bond gets better-est.

baby moi. i miss you. you're the best stress ball i ever had. all thats left for me are scars-that you made yourself. iloveyou. im excited the next time we'll meet.

BILLY.im sorry. i love you.i will be your wife.imissyou.i wish for more happy days with you.

[im sorry if i dont have pictures of particular people im thankful of. like khan, ken-bobo, RHAI, pwet,babs and a lot more people. please upload. i loveyous.]

I'm so happy I can die.
But not yet. Haha :) make me have this bliss longer-or maybe forever?

"the greatest honor you can offer to God, is by living happy with his teaching." -sabi ni priest kanina

i love you Almighty Father. Thankyou for my beautiful life that i do not deserve. _
continue blessing these people. to bless them is my bliss.

the world is an insane PORN.

2008-12-30T04:14:00.003+08:00

i was super bored just this night, so i came opening stuffs: hoaxes, watching trailers and hollywoodgrind.com, i accidentaly opened YOUPORN.

[i swear it was an accident, click on the sidebar from hollywoodgrind.com, you'll see.]

yes. the porn site, i dont know if it can play videos [all i saw was with prices] why its named like youtube, but thing is. i saw something OUT OF THIS WORLD.

SHE-MALES! like pretty-bitch-WHOA-girls with a boner.

and really, THEY LOOK LIKE MOTHERFUCKING GIRLS.
sadly, others are PRETTIER than real girls [i.e. ME.]

i continued browsing and surfing on the net
then i saw this video blog with the hate response to monica lewinsky. i became curious
[dude, the news was ten years dead!]
he compared monica lewinsky's face to 2 girls 1cup
[when he saw monica for the first time he was like: O_o]

NWAYS
what on earth is 2 girls 1 cup?

how disgusting is it to be compared to monica's [mean adjective here] face?

so i typed on all soul searches of the web to look for the video. curiosity killed me double when i saw ALOT of response videos from again, youtube, with all of their horrified faces.

later, i saw the link and pushed thru my insane curiosity.
*chenen*

IT WAS UBER DISGUSTING.

thats all.

i shouldve listened to the "JUST PLEASE DO NOT VIEW THIS VID" responses.

we are on global depression, everyone's on a strike, everybody's on an abnormal mania, most childrens did not have a normal family [like me] and porn's getting freakier. wtf. yes, porn had just gotten worse because of the world.

im not in a panic, nor depressed because of what's happening on the porn world, [the playboy palace is in distress too.(ive heard)]
i think the world, in just everything is getting out of shape. like having a retard boyfriend when your out standing in your crowd, i mean YOUR OWN CROWD. then you'd have a wicked bestfriend trying to pull your boyfriend's shoes out of you when you don't wanto, then she sticks off her feet to your head just to make you feel like a LOSER. or having a dsfunctional family when you know you just dont deserve it.

yes. the world is insane to me.

iam.

idkhowpornbecamerelatedtomylife-bigla.haha :))

What happened to all the nice guys!?

2008-12-25T16:02:00.001+08:00

This blog came from a friend (which obviously came from who-knows) and yeah, its sortof interesting-cum-guilty blog too good to deny.

pero NOT ALL thngs typed here NATAMAAN AKO HA. some yeah oo, pero most, nah.
well, girls are human too. we do stupid things and most of the time act foolish.

but all of these mostly came from the sense of 'self'
..alamo yun. to have fun and or to feel something good about other 'somethings'

bstahirapexplain.

From: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

stalker ka.

2008-11-17T17:52:00.000+08:00

haha. sorry for the title.

ang blog na ito ay para po kay pabs.

yes.

this blog is for my formal reply-cum-feedback to his'.

///

ayan. sorry.

hnd sa iddnt mean anything, well i did. pero im too stupid to forget that u might have took it the wrong way. i thought people would be too unsensitive as i am.

and if i do sometimes, it would have been me, clearing and seeking for the lost pieces that i need.

and i found it in you.

sorry

i cant return what you did.

somebody owns me.

im sorry if ive been selfish

and MALABO

i know i act too... uhm, kaw na lang maglagay ng word mo dito
i cant find my words.

yun lang.

thankyou.
and goodluck.

-AIWA.

im a bummer

2008-11-17T17:50:00.000+08:00

i made his assignment (well i promised)

skipped my band's rehersal

forgot the SC meeting

and totally unremembered my class.

im sorry self.

i love him more than you. or just anyone else.

lq blog part 2

2008-11-10T11:19:00.000+08:00

break up, or something like that. kaiyak

oh please. woe. vulnerabilly-ty sucks

im hard as a bastard. demmet.

lq blog number 1

2008-11-10T11:18:00.000+08:00

dunno what date it last typed this shits.

emoness

dramadrama
cheese cheese

LQ day number _
Sober-ness.
Sober-ish blog. Please don’t deny me, or at least mind me.
Wala na dapat babasa ng blog ko. Punyetang emoness to.

I can’t talk. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t bother you right now.
Just that. I can’t demand things because of reasons that I shouldn’t. There are no reasons after all, or if there is, it would not change anything. It would remain a shame.
I have regretted some things after we have been the ‘us’ that we cannot call.
Yes I pretty much love the sweetness we’re having, but we lost more to say.
The ‘us’ name made our distances, anyway/
It mounted at my spine like a cold, metal wall
I can barely look you in the eye.
I can’t lose you now, or ever. I don’t know. Not just yet.
But the mere deed of pulling you back, stepping higher, closer to you is pain.
The stairs made of my own ego.
I had to step on it to be with you.
I had to look down to myself and see how much I trash myself
I am far from my own self
I began to forget my name.
Just to be with you.
But you weren’t just the same.

I could never be the one who’d put you on your knees.
I could only be the one who’d just be beside you, just whenever you want to.

I could never be the one who you’d offer the tears at.
I could only make you cry once.

I could never be who you’d offer your self.
I could never be the one for you.

I guess this is what is meant to happen.
You would never be mine.

I am tied. Addicted.

last two months. august.september.

2008-11-10T11:15:00.002+08:00

Aug 31 midnight

Due to ultimate soberness, sadness and all the mix of literal emotions, I began to trip and tip-sy. My head hardly dare swallow emotionless exceptions. It was my entire lethargic mind that blew me. it started to talk, and it spoke with my thumb.
So it began to question things all of a sudden.

Typing things that my heart would not even dare to say.

I began asking why the sudden change, his being sweet, and all corny stuffs

He said excuses and such but I was too pushy for straight answers.

i blew him by recalling our past summer what-do-you-want-to-call-it. It was a shame I know.

I guess he wasn’t ready for this.

He remembered, after all.
He said sorry, but I was too proud.

It ended with a bitter goodnight.
He did not spoke after my last sentence.
I went home defeated.
Minsan gaga tlga ko. SORRY NA. ETO NA TTXT NA KITA.
i had to have him back.
REALIZATION:
first dont be too pushy.
second dont block your happiness.
third DO NOT THINK HARSH DEEP WHEN YOU DRINK. its stupid.
Did I not only found solace, but difference. I had to bring back my smile.
I had to bring him back.
And I did :)
September 1:

di.ma.ka.mo.ve.on.

rarr. Hope he’s not mad. Ang hirap pa naman neto ligawan

iloveyou :)

September 2:
FALLEN.

Hangout till next summer years.
I like the feeling.
i. truly :)
but with guilt. His id fell in the barely-closed-enough-to-post-harm canal while waiting his ride home.
But all thanks to the said sitch. He said the L word for the first time!
Well not really. It was the B word. Haha. Shortcut ng L word
Pero it’s the same. Kinilig padin me ♥
Falling ids are made for iloveyous.
Let ids rain.

September 3:
HOMELESS RABBIT

My bunny’s homeless. Kicked out from our home because of her silly habit of going out and spilling her last Monday’s snack from her tummy. BAD BUNNY.
Poochilab ♥

September 4:
RUSH.

AAARGH. RED BUTTONS on. I can barely move. Good thing we didn’t have classes. He went to me after class. We had dinner.
And finally said iloveyou.

I melted. Im like a sick candle.
An overgrown sick candle made out of cheese ball.
Ugh. I so sound cheese.

SEPTEMBER 5:
SHIT and CONFUSION.
Our supposed 2nd year anniversary.
Octoberfest is on.

I was waiting for his classes to end at the rooftop, our school building visible. I began thinking about how would I propose to him.
It sheared the whole kilig out of me.
Nakakahiya tuloy.
It would be here with big neon signs of can you be mine written in waray
(neon: for the night, waray: for extra cheese-ish factor)
He was downstairs (agad) after my night day dreaming.
Octoberfest sucks.
It was the shit.

That’s all. :)

He said iloveyou one time too many. Goodthing I still have myself solid.
I thought id all be liquefied, but I did melt.

Confusion: he said we’d stay as the September 5-ers that we are. Wah.
Ano ng meron. Tayo na? yehes. Di pa noh. Lul.
Haha.

September 6: LQ number 1:
We met after class to eat somewhere or I don’t know. We just had to go somewhere.
I was puyat that I ddnt have the mood to do anything else. I just have to sleep.
I waited for his childish antics flushed. Till jang saw me and saw us together.
mini tampuhan after.

i love it when you hold my hand. seesh

scatterbrained.

2008-09-11T15:31:00.001+08:00

september 11

call me loser. im sorry, i have been hastly lazy these past few days, skipped a week (or maybe two) of my every day- supposed blog. im not busy, well not quite true, i spent MOST of my time outside with HIM (ofcourse) excluding my best friends, family, my dream works and to my guilt, GOD.

sorry talaga. i have waited for this moment to happen for the past two years, and now its happening, i felt like im blinding my self and putting on it TOO MUCH.

am i?

sabi nga ni Gian:

"tinamaan ka lang talaga. pero wag mo naman ibibigay lahat. isipin mo parin
sarili mo."

which ofcourse never happened. why?

"isipin mo parin sarili mo"

like this. im thinking about ME too much. about my happiness that neglects all others.

bat nga ba? why can't i juggle them altogether?
am i being selfish?

back then i was always and the usual takbuhan whenever they are in need or worse, in trouble.
i multi-task, schedule and reschedule,plan, do and so on, yet i feel restless thus empty.

now im happy, but not complete. i wasnt yet contented of what im doing.

im always too lazy or too busy for others.

im starting to feel like im gyrating on him alone with nothing else to need.

im sorry. :(

superhuman at work

2008-09-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot i have a blog.

sorry na.

to whoever

2008-09-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

naiinis ako sa layout ko. nakaleft. argh. sorry, bago lang sa blogspot :) HELP. please? :)

blue alcohol. love is drug,

2008-08-30T21:28:00.001+08:00

August 30: no coffee (again) blue margarita instead.

We got to temple 30 minutes before cut off, and when I got there, Nikki was at the gl table for the list and we were like “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”
(shouting our heads off)
Retards. I miss being a retard-nikki-like. Fun.

Nota bene: Dedicated na ata kay billy tong blog na toh eh. Or maybe highlight lang tlga sya ng days ko. Retard. Still. But not nikki-wise. So thiswathappnd.

We were at the vip room, my friends and I are beginning to get bored, Hiya pa daw ako kumuha ng shot. Haha. and so I was texting lang.

Me: andito na ko, nikki and I wr shouting nung nagkita kami.
Bly: go have fun *smiley smiley* si yuniz lang pwede mamboys
Me: weh. Y?
Bly: because I said so.
Me: yd u say so?
Bly: wla lang.
Me: sus, sesegway pa. hnd naman ako naghahanap ng boys, and hve no intention do so.
Bly: bkt ano gsto mo sabihin ko

Tas I changed the topic. I was too scared to hear the ‘L word’ and not hear it the same, bka mapahiya ako eh.

Kainis ka tlga. Stop sending me mixed signals.

Nway back to Nikki’s party, we went down to dance our taxing life after a few shots. And honest to my words, hindi rin ako nag boy-scouting. Wala din eh. Haha, a few but they always have partners.
I saw Justy (nikki’s asshole exie) and kept flirting at me, like usual. Goodthing RHED was there, we made him look stupid. Whoo. LOSER.

We danced till my feet curse vanity. (ang harot harot!) then we went upstairs, for ‘more in nikki’s celeb-ration’, to sum it all, we had a nice cheesy birthday-sing-song-and-candle-blowing-cake for her, then end up playing icings on our face, we had a toast and broke A LOT of shot glasses and bottles. FUN FUN.
LITERAL NA BASAGAN.

Few fun fun moments, nikki left and when I saw her again, she’s like ‘go talk to Adrian, tell him..’ yadda yadda yadda.
Okay. So I play BFF again. Miss saving Nikki’s ass. Love.

SUPERHIGHLIGHT:
Everybody just had their eyes to this crappy mid-20’s group of wild girls that looked just like your YAYA. Yes. Your brown skinned-probincia-beauty yayas dancing at the center of the d.floor, and screaming at the DJ just to say she’s cool. MOFO. Everyone’s just hating every minute of it. And btw, if ever you saw us smiling, we’re not being nice, we’re trying TO BE nice just as we are polite.
OMG. Im eval. No way.

HATER NA KO.
But yeah, they’re such pretend-ish, social-climber-ish whoever.
And everyone just hates you the same.
HAHA.

Before home:
(the stupid doors to nica’s were still locked)
Game daw sabi ni bestie.
Came up with two stories, then we would choose which one’s fake and real, and they were always right guessing mine. Im not a real bitch-liar. YEY.

BED ON FLOOR:
He txted! OMG. Hindi ako makasend! OMG OMG.
F*CK YOU GLOBE. F*CK YOU.

afternoon friday. jealous coffee cups.

2008-08-30T14:59:00.000+08:00

August 29th :too.much.for.day.dreaming.must.wake.up.
Afternoon

Super stupid-ah me. I was late for class and because of the previous midnight-daydreaming post, hindi ko nagawa yung addesign ko. Ugh. So instead of the legendary ‘becbec-sermon’ I took off an hour before dismissal ( I came 2 hours before dismissal narin, or later. Bsta mlapit na din magdismis.) and spent it outside with macci, josep, and luisita.

Billy came and sat with us, tas macci was all about rob, shoot. I forgot to tell her about the billy-madness-ish im having. Whatever. Go macci. Make him jealous.
Love.love.

Night.
Supeeeeeer tagal ko mag ayos. Im to go to Nikki’s party at Temple with Yuniz and Jojo.2 hours ko lang naman pinaghintay bestfriend ko. Wow. Haha

no coffee for the midnight of August 29th.

2008-08-29T10:32:00.001+08:00

i had coffee for dinner upstairs again, and like usual, im with bacteria and our cigs.

i guess midnight's have to miss us for a while.

August 29th. 0112h

No midnight rooftop sessions tonight, no smoke-while-reading, no midnight coffee cups-but maybe later I will, I guess. The night is new, no one knows. My idle head won’t move for me, or at least for my ad design plate. listening to some of my band’s inspiration over itunes, yes naman, Sadie. Haha. Kamukha pa ni yuniza haha. My stupid hands won’t move for me. Please naman. I need to draw. Wala kasi akong inspiration eh. (tulog na si billy, and wala na kong unli) Boo. I’m having visions, no, im midnight daydreaming. Billy will drop me to Macci’s place this Saturday kasi. He said he really would. I know it may sound soooo cheesy, pero kinikilig talaga ko. I’m waiting again for our next UBE (ultimatebongingexperience) A nice comfy talk, and then we would end up kissing.
Ugh. Kadiri. Bat ba ko ganto.
Im so abnormal. Retard.
I love you Billy. And I hate you the same.

Billybunnypoochie, don’t believe the last one. It’s a bluff.

Im letting my guards off again. Ready na ulit ako masaktan.

August 29th 0121h
Still.

This is not about Billy anymore. Si **** Si HD (hidden desire)
Namimiss ko na. sana gumaling na siya, may sakit eh.
Sabi ni macci cute daw siya, well I have great taste kasi *wink wink

Dalian mo. Save me from Billy. :D

August 29th 0129h

Billy’s sending mixed signals. He’s jealous (when I told him about ***), he’s being extra nice, he paid for my lunch kanina, he’s doing me favors, and he’ll drop me to Macci’s this Saturday. Ano ba talaga, I know him enough, and all these extra efforts are same back when we were still together. Ano ba. :(

Sabi ni bestie, iba daw talaga. Eh hindi eh, wala na talaga, asa lang talaga ko.
And ayoko na. ayoko na nga ba. Isa pa ko eh. Ang gulo ko din. Bahala na.

Mali yung first blog. Ayoko masaktan. I’ve been stupid enough to hope more after 2 years of waiting. No way.

Imitate alpha-females. I am a goddess. I know no fear.

Wushu. Talkshit.